You have come so far

You have started to learn to let go of worries, of control, of things that were harming you, and began to believe and trust that everything will all come together like a beautiful woven work of art.

It has not been an easy road but it has helped you to open your eyes to what this life has to offer and what it can be, even while you are surrounded by uncertainty, sadness, or hardship. You have kept giving it your all as you start to see things great and small come together, even in those times when you feel like the things you do are in vain or don’t know what to do. But know that you are constantly surrounded, wrapped, with the grace that is giving you strength that is helping you to breathe every day as you keep going.

Remember you are where you are where you are meant to be even though sometimes it doesn’t feel like it, especially in the season of waiting, and one day you will look back and see how everything came together in beautiful ways that you were not expecting and how many things you would have never imagined came to be.

Focus on the fact that you were then and still are now being guided by a bright loving light. This will help and make it easier to keep going and walking your path, whether it is through desserts, winding roads, dark forests, sunny valleys, or steep mountains because you are surrounded with Grace and God at your side the whole time. Remind yourself of this, specially on those days where you feel week, drained, or like you don’t have the courage you need or the skills and tools to accomplish what has been placed before you.  Just keep going, even if you feel like you are not going as fast as others around you, its ok, it is not a reflection of your worth or what you are capable of. Just remember there is a greatness inside of you that is not meant to be compared to anyone else’s in this Earthly journey. Everything you have been through, are going though, or will be going through will be molding and shaping you in the most beautiful way.

This journey we call life is hard enough, so please don’t be so hard on yourself, remember to be kind to yourself whether you have achieved everything you thought you would by now, planned to, or wherever you are in this beautiful journey. Open your arms, allow yourself to receive all the grace that is lovingly and freely sent your way, and remember it is not merit based or earned, so take a long deep breath and ask God for help to reveal to you that light that has always been shinning on you, in you, and around you. No matter your flaws let His endless, boundless, unmerited, glorious grace meet you where you are and give you the strength you need moment by moment as you walk your path.

I hope and pray that you open your eyes, let this bight light in, allow yourself to be filled with love, to be guided, to trust, and to be humble and willing to keep receiving this gift of grace that is always available to you as you walk this path and wait for what is to come.

Choices, mistakes, and U turns

Today we were at the park and I couldn't help but notice a girl, she must have been in her early 20's, and she was with a guy sitting by the bathrooms packing some sort of bag. She had a cast in her hand and a very sad look to her. The guy looked like he was rough around the edges and very stoned (being Oregon it is not surprising... sadly) what called to my attention was the whole look of the situation and the fact that between me and them was the playground. The playground full of kids, including you, and all I could think about was that girl. She was once little, innocent and full of joy.  What was her past like? what her family (if she had any) could have been like? what drove her to make these life choices? she might have grown up in an abusive environment and full of neglect making her think shes not enough and follow the same patterns in life or she might have grown up in a loving environment but made some bad decisions later on in life and feels ashamed to ask for help and get out of them, or maybe she doesn't know any better... I don't know... but it truly breaks my heart to see women in those situations and I know that sometimes all it takes is one dumb choice.

That is why I want you to know that even though you have been brought up with the best of my abilities as a Mom and a loving family, I know you are human and as human you are bound to make mistakes or maybe is not you that needs to hear this but a friend or someone you know that is in need for you to guide her. I have made it my mission to raise you with a strong foundation, values, and brains to make the right choices in life (and sometimes people just don't have that opportunity) but I also know how peer pressure can deviate that inner compass we all have, and an abusive relationships can even try to break that compass or make it feel like is broken. But I also want you to know we all make mistakes, we have all made dumb decisions (some worse than others or and some not as bad as others) but none of us can escape our human nature, and it doesn't matter how bad you think the mistake is or low you feel you have gotten, don't be ashamed to ask for help, don't be ashamed to come to your family, to places that can help, and specially to your church and seek God.

I also want you to know what took me years to realize, our lives are made of choices. We have the power to turn your life around at any time, no matter how bad we think it is or how terrible our past choices have been. God has given us a soul- an inner compass- and strength to create our life, no matter what the past was or what dumb choices we might have made. Which in part is why I am such a big believer of going to confession, God knows our sinful imperfect nature and when Jesus gave the Apostles the power to forgive sins was for that same reason. He wanted to help us realize we have the choice to change our lives and we need His grace to give us that strength. I like the idea of going to a priest and confess what ever dumb choices I might have made, it is such a powerful thing, by speaking them out loud I am releasing myself from the shackles and weight those past choices hold over me, and then hearing that God forgives me and what ever I may have done in the past is gone and I have a blank slate and freedom to turn my life around by making better choices. To some people they might not agree with that and that is OK, the main point I want to make is that:

YOU have the power to choose, the power to create your life, to live your life on purpose, your life is in your hands... no matter what the past was like, what you past mistakes might have been, no matter how bad or how dumb you might feel about your choices, no matter if you feel like there is no way out, no matter what or how your life has been like up to this point... you can choose to do a U turn at any moment and know that you are a strong capable woman who can create her life to be what ever she wants it to be and it is OK to ask for help and specially to God, He will give you strength and guidance by putting the right people on your path.

Have many interests...

My little one,

 As you know I have been blessed with the opportunity to explore many of my interests in my life from surfing to horseback riding, from law degrees to culinary, from fashion to painting, from psychology to photography, from writing to EMT, from hiking to scuba diving, and I am constantly finding new interests to learn about...

 I used to be self conscious when people would comment on all the different things I have done in my life. For some reason our society pushes us into a very narrow box of specializing and dedicating yourself to only one thing and if you don't then you are a failure. But I have come to learn that actually when your are a "jack of all trades" you end up being a more rounded person, you gain knowledge that is vital, different ways to problem solve, your horizons expand. I can honestly say that I have truly lived life, I have explored, experimented, and learned new skills that have helped me develop emotionally and intellectually.

I really believe our souls speak to us and guide us through all the things that peek our interest, what we dream of doing, learning about, and exploring. Our souls guide us to those things for a reason, if your heart yearns for it it's because there are vital skills we are meant to learn, its guiding us on our path, helping us find the reason why we are here in the world. When we follow that call we find peace, joy, and fulfillment.

Unless you try different things, explore all your interests, you will live in a very narrow frame of reference. It will only lead to a life of resentment, bitterness, dry, and constant un-ease, you soul will be wrestles. How do I know that? because I have been there and I have witnessed it with many successful people I have met.  When this happens we tend to comment on how life feels like groundhog day over and over, monotonous, something in life is missing, we feel empty. We are feeling those things is because we are are starving our souls, we are too focused on making a living ... not truly living. We forget what our passions are, what light us up. We are not exploring our interests- the things that make us curious, learn, study, try, learning and growing. If that ever happens you have to honest with yourself by asking what are the things you find interesting and are curious about? what do you love? what did you used to love when you were a kid? what did/do you dream about? what did/do you find fascinating? what can you talk about for hours? what lights you up and energizes you? what can you do for hours and hours?

The choice is yours, you can choose to stay in an unhappy rut or you can choose to nourish your soul by going after what you love and exploring new things. Start by reading on what ever interest you (gardening, photography, cooking, etc) ask experts on the field, observe, put in hours of practice, and experiment, learn as you go. And it is quite interesting how when you are excited and learning about something, God places people and more experiences in your life to teach you and guide you. Some times that passion can turn into a career too.

How do you find your passions? by exploring, and sometimes you will explore hobbies and you will realize they were not your thing, but that is ok. Please don't see it as wasting your time, a failure or a mistake, but for what it really was, a learning experience, it gave you new skills, new perspectives, new ways to approach and solve problems, it opened your mind, it gave you new knowledge and it made you a more interesting person over all by adding new depths. You will have a deeper understanding of life than you would have had if you had not tried it. We can make all areas of our lives richer and fuller, there is not one area that doesn't benefit.

So my little one, I want to urge you to try different interests and listen to your soul, one thing will lead to another, it will open new windows. There is not such thing as too many interests, we become alive when we learn and explore things we love. We as living things, find pleasure in the process of discovering what excite us, by going after what we find stimulating. Go explore, watch the world open up, your life to become full and exciting and remember if your soul longs for it its for a reason!

With love,

your mama

My Little Princess,

I have been dreaming of writing you letters with all the things I have learned both in life and in motherhood and I have decided to set it up in a blog. You will get all this in my journals any ways but here it can be easier to read because it will be organized. Also even though the letters are for you maybe they can inspire and teach other women as well, most of it as you know is stuff I have learned from my family, friends, other people, and stuff I learned on my own...

With careful consideration I have decided to dedicate this  to be the first letter to you, my little princess, because I don't want you to ever forget this...

The Royal wedding was this past week and lately mama, along with probably all other women in the world, has been a bit obsessed with it... and it has send me into a path of discovery to why do I care so much? and then I looked up at you twirling in your big beautiful red dress, calling yourself a princess and full of joy with not a care in the world and my heart sank at the realization I was like that once too, as a little girl, we all believe we are princesses and then we grow up. I got sadder and sadder thinking of the day when you grow up, your dream of being a princess begins to shatter, reality sets in, your lights starts getting dimmed by a world that makes women feel we are not enough and feeding insecurities into our soul.

But I want you to know and I hope you ALWAYS have in your mind and never forget that you ARE and will always be A REAL PRINCESS! maybe not in the how the world thinks of Royalty but

You are a princess not because you married a prince like the fairy tales or because your parents are of the Royal Family, but because your true father is God and He the true King, the King of Kings and your soul is Royalty because you have been adopted as His daughter. You have a crown and it was bought by the blood of Christ in the Cross, wear it proudly and with your head up high. And as the daughter of the King always remember to behave like it, dress like it, walk like it, talk like it... and most importantly wait for the Godly man that will treat you like it. 

Although you might not be bombarded with paparazzi, know that the way you behave, dress, and talk in your day to day life is in fact inspiring others, not in because you are in magazines, but because of the way you treat people... So always be respectful, kind, and loving.

The way you dress your body will show that you not only respect God, others, but yourself. Even if you are wearing Jeans and informal clothes be feminine, be elegant and sophisticated. Don't leave your beautiful clothes for a special occasion, my princess, your life is a special occasion. Make sure you wear clothes that fit you right, that you feel beautiful in, and it doesn't have to be Designer expensive clothes.

if you are ever in doubt if you should wear, say, or act a certain way just ask yourself:

"Would I be feel good and be proud of wearing this if I were to see the King today?  would I do this if I was in the presence of the King? would I say this if the King was in front of me?..."

 Just remember that even if you are at home, you are always in the presence of the King!

and don't let anyone tell you  that you are not a real princess because my little one you are and you will always be...

with love,

your mama